yesterday was hell. i generally hate people gathering to work on one thing because it always causes arguments and conflicts with each other. i couldnt stay calm yesterday either. painting was not fucking done until 2 hours before the show started. ive already heard so much bullshit talked between teachers and students at that point, i had no time to eat till 7 p.m. (i ate 2 meals at a time later on... yum:), and paint cans fell from my hands twice on the day... how could i stay calm?
somebody called me passive aggressive yesterday. it was supposed to be a sarcasm (yes, he said that to the other student, but loud so i hear), but its so true. at that moment, i was more upset at myself, but i dont deny that some small stuffs were irritating me as well. in fact, i think he thought i was upset at one of sarcastic comments he made before that happened...
im really bad at anger management in groups in general. i try to ignore the fact that im mad, so the result usually comes out as the really bad sarcasm or behavior. i never fit in a large group, and its alright for me most of time. but occasionally, that i have to stay in it gives me the huge stress, and i dont know how to deal with it, when it happens.
i guess thats one thing i have to face at this point... not that im the only one whos struggling with it (obviously), but i dont really like to feel anger when i have stuffs to work on. i either have to learn to let it go or find a good way to release it.
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